#9 Highlander 2-The Quickening : The original Highlander is no one's idea of high art, but its concept and execution had a certain elegance to it. But that movie's catchphrase - there can be only one - turned out to be true in more ways that the filmmakers realised: this sequel pissed all over the narrative and logic of the first film, as well as being, in itself, completely incomprehensible.
#8 The Happening : How could it all go wrong for such talented filmmakers? Shyamalan says that Wahlberg and Deschanel's overly mannered performances were a deliberate throwback to disaster movies of yesteryear; to everyone else, they felt forced and flat. And as for Walhberg's scene talking to a plastic house plant - God save us.
#7 Sex Lives Of the Potato Men : Two chip-shop delivery men dreaming of wild sex and easy women instead slip into boorishness, misogyny and crude jokes. All of that might, maybe, be just about OK if it was funny - but this is so cringe-inducingly nasty that it just isn't.
#6 Heaven's Gate : The story goes that director Michael Cimino asked why no one was drinking champagne at his film's premiere, and was told, "Because they hate the movie, Michael." There are five uninterrupted minutes of fiddle playing - on roller skates - and Jeff Bridges throwing up, also on roller skates. But it's a Western - go figure.
#5 Epic Movie : A lazy collection of recreations of scenes from blockbuster movies and, for no obvious reason, the likes of Nacho Libre and Borat, but with added scatological humour. Even if that were forgivable, the waste of actual talent like Crispin Glover and Kids in the Hall's Kevin McDonald is not.
#4 Raise The Titanic : A film so expensive that its producer famously quipped it would have been cheaper to lower the Atlantic, this Titanic flopped at the box-office and caused author Clive Cussler, on whose book it was based, to deny Hollywood his books for 20 years (then he allowed Sahara, which is another story).
#3 The Love Guru : A comedy so bad that it made us question whether any of Myers' back-catalogue had ever been funny, this starts with an unoriginal character and borderline racist and sexist humour before heading straight for the toilet. When shagging elephants are your comedy centrepiece, something is seriously askew.
#2 Battlefield Earth : John Travolta as a dreadlocked, 9ft. tall alien. Forest Whitaker as his dimwitted sidekick. Barry Pepper saving the world. Alien invaders kept at bay by thousand-year-old technology stockpiled by the good old US of A. The only way this could be more ridiculous would be if all those involved played it dead serious but looked as camp as Christmas oh, wait.
#1 Batman and Robin : Gaining nearly three times as many votes as the next entry, this was a runaway loser. From the neon design to the overblown script to the infamous Batnipples, it's become a byword for franchise-killing and bad movie-making.
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